The Vows of a Lifetime … In Your Own Words

You’re creative, you’re one-of-a-kind, you’re in love. And you’re anything but traditional. But you’ll be making promises to your beloved very soon and those vows are — well — traditional.

If you just can’t bear to promise forever love in words that have been around forever, then write your own vows. It will take time, thought, and compromise but, hey, you’re getting ready to marry this person. Time, thought, and compromise is a big part of your future together.

How to begin? First, if you’re getting married in a religious ceremony, make sure creating your own vows is allowed. Then be certain your future spouse is willing. If so, you’ll need to decide together on length (keep it short) and style (make it consistent). You don’t want one of you reciting lush, romantic poetry while the other is making jokes.

Next, look at already established vows, Scripture, poetry, commentaries on love and marriage, and any other literature that might inspire the promises you want to make and the way you want to make them.

Then consider all the reasons you are choosing to spend your life with your intended. What is it that makes you love, like, and enjoy this person? Think about the promises you expect. Do you emphasize trust, love, commitment, honesty? What are you willing to promise? What will you do when difficult times come along? What will sustain you as a person and a partner? Do you have a shared faith in God? A similar spiritual perspective? A common outlook and attitude about life?

When you actually begin to put pen to paper, you can keep it very simple. Once you have the words you want to say, put them aside for a while. Come back to them in a few days or a few weeks to review and fine-tune. When you’ve decided these are the vows you want to make in the ceremony, learn them and practice them. What you say will be unique, personal, and a promise of forever love … in your own forever words. ~JSC