What to Do When You Disagree on the Menu

SAVVY Q: What to Do When You Disagree on the Menu

SAVVY A:

Food Fight! (only if you like what mayonnaise does for your hair!)

Buffet or sit-down? Chicken or beef? Soup or salad? Italian or Moroccan? Your favorite south-side restaurant or uptown hotel?

With so many options, deciding what to serve at the reception can sometimes be challenging. Multiply the angst times two if you and your betrothed don’t agree on the what, where, and how much. We have some common-sense steps to help you narrow your choices and keep the bliss alive.

Keep an eye on the budget. Avoid the temptation to group every expense item that occurs after the ceremony into “reception” costs. Treat your food budget as a separate expense, and remember to figure in taxes, tips and any other service fees. What you can afford will largely determine what you can serve.

Stick with your theme. Think of food as an extension of the theme and feel of your wedding. The atmosphere and food should match, or at least complement, each other. If you’re having a pig pickin’ down on the farm, try serving barbecued chicken as an alternative. Steak or filet mignon is appropriate at a more upscale affair, with lobster or shrimp skewers as another choice. In both cases, be sure to have a couple of vegetarian dishes available. Also, take into account the time of day. For a morning wedding with reception following, light lunch fare is better than a heavier meal.

Write it down. Make a list of your ideas for what to serve; then ask your fiancé to come up with a separate list of possibilities. Break both lists into three categories: “must have,” “maybe,” and “no way.” You might be pleasantly surprised to learn that your lists are more similar than different. Doing this will pinpoint what decisions you need make.

Limit your choices. If you still can’t agree on the menu, let a food expert decide for you. Tell your caterer a few details about the wedding, and let him or her come up with two or three menu options. If possible, ask for a taste test — you may discover you like the way the chef prepares some dishes better than others.

Consider your guests. Serve foods that appeal to the majority. While you might love spicy jambalaya, some hearts might be set aflame by your choice. And although sushi and tartare are popular, many people prefer to avoid raw meat. Be sure to offer other choices.

Try something different. Remember, you and your fiancé will probably have more than one opportunity to feed your guests. Smaller get-togethers such as a rehearsal dinner or a day-after brunch provide great opportunities to fuse your (and his) food faves into the menu.

No matter what you decide, make keeping everything in perspective a priority. It is important to have what you want on your wedding day, but not at the expense of the relationship. Bon appétit! ~CM